What to do in a Terrorist Attack
The US government has a new website, displaying public service symbols for terrorism readiness, in the tradition of the old "duck and cover" campaigns after WWII. The fun thing is that these pictures are so ambiguous they could mean anything! Here are a few guesses about what they mean:
If you have set yourself on fire, do not run
If you spot terrorism, blow your anti-terrorism whistle. If you are bald, yell really loud.
If you spot a terrorist arrow, pin it against the wall with your shoulder
If you are sprayed with an unknown substance, stand and think about it instead of seeing a doctor.
Use your flashlight to lift the walls right off of you!
The proper way to eliminate smallpox is to wash with soap, water and at least one armless hand.
Hurricanes, animal corpses and the biohazard symbol have a lot in common. Think about it.
Be on the lookout for terrorists with pinkeye and leprosy. Also, they tend to rub their hands together manically.
If a door is closed, karate chop it open.
If your building collapses, cower under a desk and kiss your ass goodbye.
--Great email Stu
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